Love Shouldn't Hurt - A Real-Life Testimony About Psychological Violence Towards Women
At Slim Coquette we engage our customers and followers with messages of women empowerment, body positivity, and the importance of taking care of ourselves both physically and mentally.
For us, it is not just about shapewear. Is the impact that can have on a woman's life. In her self-love and self-esteem. Her overall confidence.
By being a feminist it seemed the right path.
Last week we were approached by Anabel (fictional name) asking for some advice. But this advice was beyond shapewear, blog articles, and posts on social media. This was actually advice about all the philosophy attached to Slim Coquette and we couldn't just cross our arms.
Anabel is currently a victim of psychological violence from her boyfriend. One of the advice we gave was for her to write her experience and share it with other women, so she doesn't feel so alone. Because many of us, I'm sure, have suffered violence (physically or mentally) at some point in our life.
Here's her testimony:
"I was me before I met you!
I knew exactly what I wanted for me, knew that being alone was not a mistake but a safe way of living from external humiliation. So I never in a million years thought I'd be one of "those women".
Then you showed up. I thought you were perfect and let my guard down.
The first years were a bed of roses until I opened up more about my true self. I didn't want to show you only that perfect woman you wanted for me to be. I stopped wearing lingerie lace every night for you and took off the mask. After all, this is what happens when relationships evolve, we learn to love everything about the other: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Soon I started being corrected in all things I said and done like I was some dumb girl that doesn't know how to do anything or has nothing interesting to say!
Then the manipulations of stories and other realities that I can't find in my mind started to happen. Things that you made me add but deep down I knew it wasn't real.
Turning off the phone in the middle of conversations, or punching the wall with the excuse that was to avoid hitting my face (should I thank you?). The constant talking and complimenting other women to make me feel inferior, to make me compare when no one is comparable! These attitudes were passing by as "normal".
And now, the shame. But not my shame, no. Your shame, because all things considered, I'm not woman enough for you to present to your friends.
It's been five years and you're asking for me to stay anonymous. And the saddest part is that I feel anonymous and no one will understand how I feel, and how did I get here?
I'm looking for myself and I can't find my way back home. The road turned out to be so long and the pain is so real, as you hit me straight in the face and not the wall.
Nobody can see my marks, but it hurts just as much as real, bloody wounds."
As a woman, I would like to ask you to share your experience, your advice. Anything you liked to say to Anabel. She needs a strong chain of positivity for her to find herself again. I hope her words touch you as it touched our hearts.
Please, send your messages to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Slim Coquette Team